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Bramier watches.This is why he smiles. He's had the universe opened up tohim. I can never unknow what I know now. But, my taskremains undone. I lie back again, and close my eyes.I inhale consciously, and sit up. I fold my legs and restmy arms on them, palms up. I exhale, and inhale again.Softly, gently, rhythmically. Starting with the tip of myhead, I begin pushing the energy out. The built-up anxietyof wondering what this moment would be like... I let it go.Like tiny luminous grains of energy, I press them down,back into the earth. Down and down I press the taintedenergy, out of my body, into the ground, until nothingremains.Slowly, I feel the energies returning. Pure energy,untainted by expectation or experience. I expand myawareness, reaching out ever further, to touch the earth,the trees, the sky, the creatures of the land... slowlygathering from them, gleaning the barest sliver of theirpower. Even that miniscule fraction, gathered from so far,from leagues... fills me. The vessel. All in all, it was a strange time, but a fortunate time for me. They were the main reason I continued to live. As the boys got older and more involved in school activities, they spent less and less time with Rick and more time at home. Rick was fine with that since he was working steadily and spent a lot of evenings out of the house. The boys understood and made their plans accordingly. Actually, they spent most of their time with their friends and their activities but they always came home. I let them have their freedom since they had grown up learning to cope with some very serious problems at home and survived to become strong, confident boys. I was proud of them and who they had become. I never asked them what Rick said when they let him know I had told them what happened. Rick and I rarely spoke except to deal with problems about the boys, or to make plans for their futures. Rick and I both did quite well financially so there was never any problem with alimony or child support..
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